Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
50% drunk capacity currently
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
