I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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