he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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