dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
