I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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