2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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