mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
