Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
