and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
