I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
