How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
