i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
