She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
