we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
