whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize