What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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