I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
