my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
