What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
