I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
