Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You dont lie about slip and slides
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
