Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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