How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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