did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
