It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize