I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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