So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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