i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
