so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
