it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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