Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
