Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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