Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
