I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
