I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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