i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
