You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I want a musical about memes.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
