Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize