omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
my poor anus
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
