it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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