Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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