i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
