he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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