Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize