are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize