Your tits are I can't wait for
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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