5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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