If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize