Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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