She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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