I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I need to calm my uterus...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
