Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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