11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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