Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
