we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
