So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
