I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
