im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
