Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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