She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
