Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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