My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
COCAINE IS GR8
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
