Fine. I'll sleep in my office
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
