I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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