worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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